okay here's the final verdict:
i love assuring you of my love, but yet i'm the one that needs the assurance. i contradict myself once too many. why is it always that i have to worry about things that i told you not to worry about? but i guess it's just me and my really wierd mind. i'm either a hardcore mental sadist that loves to play with my own mind, making myself confused and hurt. i have no clue as to why i do it! what is that network that links people up together and let others write testimonials anyways! (i'm not making any allegations against it, i'm just describing. *right..*) read yours and sort of came across something maybe i shouldn't have stumbled upon. i regretted venturing into your 'testimonials'. thought i wouldn't find anything, but guess i was wrong. anyways, who is to blame? me i guess. (told ya i'm a mental sadist). depression? you thought only YOU would have. i'm always asking you to trust me and all. i think i understand how you feel. but surely mine is much worse. :( lots of depressing thoughts coming into mind now. i'd better sign off now and go seek solace in God. He's the only one who can comfort my hurts and my pains, those that far exceed mortal emotion descriptions. one word; INSECURITY. that's all i have to say.
small little revelation; Procrastination = Laziness = Un-Godly = Sin.